MY MUSINGS ON THE NOVEL CORONAVIRUS

What might have been is an abstraction

Remaining a perpetual possibility

Only in a world of speculation.

-- T.S. Eliot, “Burnt Norton”

In case you are still incomprehensibly and reprehensibly in denial (I’m lookin’ at you, springbreakers on the Florida beaches, English pub-goers, South African bus riders, Swedish skiers, Japanese cherry-blossom peekers, Belarusian soccer fans, the covidiot in the White House):  This is The Big One.  Divine retribution on a mindboggling scale.  The Great Recalibration.  

The universe has seen that we humans have fucked things up so irrevocably, it determined that an apocalyptic shake-up was necessary.  At fault are our profligate squandering of natural resources;

our hubris in artificially extending lives and overpopulating the earth;

our thumbing of noses at the insidious effects of mass tourism.

Inequalities – racial, ethnic, economic, gender, sexual – we have enabled to develop and fester.

Our shortsighted shorting of public health infrastructures.

The unforgiving insistence on ever-higher gains in overheated, overvalued markets.

The massively unfair distribution of worldwide wealth.

Our nonchalant, incessant consuming of so much more than we need. 

The greedy pursuit of own enrichment with no regard for the common good.

Maybe even the breakneck frantic pace our lives had assumed, allowing for too little introspection and time for what really matters.

We are being put in our place, forced to retreat to our domestic lairs, defenseless against a rabid Darwinian realignment of the natural order of things.  The invisible pathogen raging among us has managed to do what all the strikes, marches, rallies, riots, political debates, climate conferences, natural disasters and other visible disruptions could not do. 

The planes are in the hangars, the cruise ships in their berths; factories and slaughterhouses are shuttered; supply chains are severed, social lives are locked down; incompetent and undeserving leaders are being shown up as the buffoons that they are; the economy is in a tailspin; a global reckoning is taking place. 

The cosmos has got our attention now, eh?   

We find ourselves “at the still point of the turning world” (Eliot again), compelled to stop / slow down and turn inward and contemplate and question and be and reassess and evaluate the opportunities to make the best of this defining moment.  We have time now to cultivate a new awareness.  To breathe deeply.  To determine what will be different on the other side of this upheaval -- because back to business as usual is not, should not be an option.    

I manage ok during the day, keeping my hands busy, my body moving and my mind distracted, but the nights are especially disquieting.  Afraid of the torment of my subconscious, I numb myself with Netflix and more often than not drift off in the blue light of my laptop.  In the nocturnal hours the full weight of my unremitting fears bears down on me: worry about my 28-year-old doctor son and my 84-year-old asthmatic mother; concern about the fate of my small business; general anxiety about the staggeringly calamitous effects of this crisis. 

My heart convulses hardest when I try to imagine what life A.C. is going to be like for my children and their cohorts, the Millennials and Gen Zers -- both names portending a momentous era, the end, a finality… and here we are.  How will they navigate their psychological and emotional near future? What will their professional prospects be after this economic Armageddon?  Where will they find the wherewithal to claw their way back from this historic shit show?

While the rampaging ravages of this virus are widely beyond our control, it will be up to us to choose to make the most of its aftermath. The shifting consciousness is palpable but can we make the necessary post-pandemic pivot?  Once we are out of lockdown, how long will our newfound appreciation of our freedoms last? 

How soon before we are thoughtlessly abusing our planet, callously over-consuming, loudly complaining about traffic jams and tedious classes and annoying office colleagues?  

Will we continue to show respect for our new heroes?  

Will we still engage in acts of solidarity? 

Will we care more for each other or revert to egocentric actions? 

Will we do our best to make good, thoughtful choices? 

I really want to believe in humankind’s ability to learn and grow from life’s most daunting challenges, but recognize that negative and narcissistic behavior can be frighteningly deep-rooted.   I truly hope that our resilience – of which I am utterly convinced – leads us to lives of more altruism but also fear that addiction to affluence may ultimately overrule any gentler, kinder impulses.    

We will eventually acquire immunity to this strain of coronavirus, but I hope to god we will no longer be immune to the deplorable harm we have wrought on our world. 

While there will be a cataclysmic toll on life as we had come to know it, I accept that this is a necessary culling for our collective wellbeing.  Though it may be next to impossible right now to view the devastation around us as a gift, the COVID-19 catastrophe could engender widespread and lasting recognition of our social responsibilities.  And that would indubitably be a good thing.

For me personally, I had high hopes and expectations for this year, the start of a new decade… its sinuous numerical symmetry enticing me to ramp up my travel; give a push to big professional changes; embark on individualistic indulgences.  And while I have sadly had to shelve these selfish plans, my belief in the phenomenal potential of this watershed moment has been renewed on a universal scale: The shared karmic experience of 2020 just may save us from ourselves. 

The only wisdom we can hope to acquire

Is the wisdom of humility: humility is endless.

--T.S. Eliot, “East Coker”