Portrait: She's Got a Gun (English version)

Do you know... Stacy Overbey?

So there I was, just savoring a spectacular late-summer morning at Badi Utoquai, the sun still bright, the crowds thinner, the boats plying the sparkling waters of the Zürisee.  After an hour or so, the man on the bench next to me asked if I lived in Zurich (yes) and if I was active on social media (ummm, sort of), then shared his idea for a series of online portraits of "independent women with style whom we randomly meet" -- I was so very flattered and honored to be the first.  What a meaningful chance encounter this turned out to be, and what a fun little project!  Here's the result: 
 

I met Stacy at the lake on one of the last warm days of the 2018 bathing season.  She came to my attention because she seemed to be completely at ease with herself over the newspaper and coffee. 

Shot from the hip

Tea or coffee? coffee
Morning or night person? My nature is a morning person, but my work and social life often dictate the opposite.
Sleep with the window open or closed?  open
Debbie Harry or Joan Jett? Debbie Harry
Meryl Streep or Jane Fonda? both
Hippie or punk at heart? hippie
Cinema or Netflix? Netflix
Flight or train?  train
Introvert or extrovert?  extrovert
Your Instagram? @ stacyoverbey  

The way

Born in 1961 in Music City, USA (Nashville) and raised in Murray, Kentucky, a 15,000-soul town where everybody knows each other. "The time was," remembers Stacy "carefree but marked by a look to the outside and a yearning for anonymity."

So at the age of 18 she went to study on the US East Coast; to Wellesley, half an hour outside Boston. A prestigious all-women’s college whose walls once housed Hillary Rodham Clinton. Stacy raves about her time there, describing the positive dynamic among the young women; that she could, even as a "country bumpkin"-- she will use the term to describe herself several times – be herself without most inhibitions.  "Although some classmates were worlds more sophisticated than I was then." Many meaningful friendships made for life.  In addition to her own campus life, with English literature as a major, she  enjoyed the intellectual and "admittedly also the masculine" vibes of nearby Harvard University and MIT.  "Here I had to work for school success for the first time in my life," she laughs.  It was encouraging, promising and “empowering”.  There really isn’t an appropriate German-language translation for this word and the associated basic feeling to which American women owe so much. A force that simultaneously grows in oneself and is legitimized from the outside. "My four years there were over much too fast."

It was similar with the ten weeks of her post-graduate European tour with her friend Laura. "The friendship has held; just this summer Laura and I hiked together through the English Cotswolds instead of attending our 35th reunion at Wellesley."

Stacy's dream job was journalism. But because the way was not clear enough, back in Boston she started in fashion retail to pay the rent.  Maybe she should get her masters? The decision was made for her by a Swiss. He had just graduated from Harvard Business School, had a job offer in his home country and an idea: he wanted to go on a trip around the world before he got caught up in the clutches of the business world. With her.  This journey acutely infected Stacy with the travel virus, and it also brought her to her limits: the poverty, the noise, the crowds and not least the scorpions she encountered in India, or the altitude sickness she suffered in the Himalayas, were all overwhelming. What she did not know: Her fiancé had subjected her to the experience with what she calls the "princess test”.  Which she passed -- by not being a princess.  Today she says that the adventures of the journey and the repeated overcoming of challenges did her a ton of good.  And she got along well with her future husband. "I owe much of my love for traveling to him."

In autumn 1986, Stacy landed with her fiancé in Zurich, where she has lived ever since. At that time as an unmarried foreign woman she was not allowed to work.  So she learned German, and enjoyed talking to me in a charming mix of Swiss German and English. A turning point in learning the local dialect was realizing what the word "öppis" meant.  She has never wanted to go back to the USA except for holidays. "During my first trip to Europe in 1983, I fell in love with this continent, with the lifestyle here and to this day, I appreciate things like the café culture, the great museums, the beautiful old town quarters ..." She eventually gave up her American passport for tax reasons.  At 26 she married and started to write for a local newspaper in her hometown of Murray, the monthly column "A View from Abroad".  Journalism.  In addition, she taught English at a language school and founded a company for editing English texts.

In 1991, her son Raphael was born, four years later the twins Luca and Sophia. This resulted, among other things, in an overwhelming need for some time for herself. "An hour a week should belong only to me." She found it in yoga.

"I am happiest when I  
leave my comfort zone. "

The next ten years were marked by everyday family life in a Zurich suburb, peppered with regular family visits to the US. "Transatlantic travel with children is a matter of attitude," Stacy is convinced. She touches her heart and is sure "I have made my children into good travelers, people who are adventurous and curious about new things." Her daughter has most evidently inherited the travel bug.

At some point there was a "dream house on Lake Zurich"and a renovation project that was "good for our marriage."  It would be the last home she would move into, she was sure. The renovation was a success; Stacy lived "the classic Gold Coast life." Whether symptoms of a troubled marriage are a part of this, she leaves open.  In any case, at her wish, the divorce came in 2009.

For five more years she remained with her children in the house, as tenant of her ex-husband.  The kids should reach legal adult age and finish school. And Stacy would open her first own bank account -- under her maiden name. And not only that: she bought a company that she now runs. The Learning Center in Zurich offers tutoring to English-speaking students. "It was a flight forwards. The financial crisis had just picked up speed; my chances of getting a job were zero. " She has not regretted the decision. "It was right. And my learning curve was very steep," she recalls. At that time, she also recognized a pattern: "I need challenge. Whether it be the choice of college, the trip around the world, the divorce ... I am happiest when I leave my comfort zone, when I can grow. The path from the initial uncertainty through to the triumph of mastery shows me again and again that my trust in myself is justified."  This process fosters personal growth, but also modesty, she is convinced.

In 2014, she moved out of the house on Lake Zurich.  But that was not enough distance. So she took a sabbatical, her second world trip, this time all alone, and captured her experiences in a blog. The archive is here. 

Since her return in 2015, Stacy has been living on her own for the first time in her life; her current home is a rented apartment in the city of Zurich. "It was not easy to come back after a year of traveling around the world. If it weren’t for my children, I would have landed in New Zealand -- far, far away from my old life.”

The life

What do you do first thing in the morning and last in the evening?
I start and finish my day with yoga.  The very first poses before I even get out of bed.

How do you show up?

I walk with a straight back, light foot, head held high.  I seek direct eye contact, smile at my fellow human beings and gladly give a compliment.

Moment (s) of self-empowerment?
The answer here again is: Yoga. Although I respect my limits based on my age and previous injuries or operations, I also recognize my potential.

The feeling also comes up at the thought of taking my business to the next level.

The most important crossroads in your life?

The decision to separate from my husband.

How has your relationship with others and with the opposite sex changed over the course of your life?
Today I act from a position of strength towards men. I was never as self-confident as I am today.

And not only towards men: I am much more relaxed than the temperamental redheaded me of earlier years.

What do you make time for apart from yoga?
For my children. They do not demand much, but I am delighted to always be there for them.

For traveling. I love to go to yoga retreats in exotic places, and am already planning my third RTW (round the world trip).

And for the conscious experience of beautiful and simple moments -- for example on my bike in the morning or walking in the woods -- and for personal encounters, even if they are, typically American, somewhat superficial. I think it's important to pay attention to and express wonder of the little things.  

Where do you get involved?
I'm currently in the middle of my yoga teacher training, with the aim of passing on what the practice has given me. I want to show that even as a body gets older it remains "yoga-capable" and can help to lead a less stressed life. The philosophy also speaks to me. The inclusive nature in contrast to the exclusive of western religions. Be good and do good, but if you fuck up every now and then ... (shrugs.)

How important is sex in your life?
It's important. I am pleased by the fact that I feel very much alive even below the belt. Hand in hand with passion, sex is part of an all-round fulfilling life for me.

Do you have any quirks?
Not only do I organize my blouses classically by color, but also by sleeve length and material.

Do you have something like a personal philosophy of life?
Long before I made a career in education, I felt moved by Gandhi's maxim: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

How do you earn your money?
With my company.

The style

What compliment do you hear over and over again? Can you accept it gracefully?
I get compliments for my hair, my freckles and my hats; since my divorce also for my charisma.

I have gotten better about accepting compliments and hope I do it with due modesty. I have not quite made peace with my freckles, but since I was 40, we have been living in a truce. Today I realize that my skin has aged pretty well because the freckles always compelled me to protect it particularly well against the sun.

What are the favorite things in your wardrobe?
White blouses, western-inspired boots and hats. And sunglasses.

What do you particularly like to buy for your wardrobe? Is there anything that’s more of a chore?

I always buy more of the same -- every year one or two blouses from Lareida -- but they are of course always different. Like my current favorite oversized white shirt, which I bought this summer in Hamburg. Or the hats that I find in vintage stores.

I wear pants 99% of the time; I especially love the boyfriend leather pants from Zinga. Recently I bought my fifth pair -- in rusty red. Maybe this is the last for a while ...

At some point I started to replace bras with bralets, because not only the shopping experience with bras is demeaning, but the general comfort level is horrendous.

Do you have a favorite bag or does it depend on your mood?
My everyday bag is a Tumi backpack -- it makes things a lot easier, the hands are always free. Especially practical for me as a cyclist.

From time to time, or when traveling, I opt for a cross-body bag that has space for the essentials.

Your relationship with shoes?
A pretty simple one. Birkenstocks in summer, boots in winter. And sneakers always work, preferably running shoes from Asics.

Fragrance?
Prada Amber.  Also get compliments on this from time to time.

How would you describe your style of living?
I live in an apartment in a newly renovated Art Nouveau house with beautiful old floors and high ceilings, modern kitchen and bathroom. I like it orderly but cozy and comfortable – what I call the big sweater feeling. The color scheme is dominated by brown, beige and the mossy green-gray in which I have painted the walls. My home is 100% me.

The rest

Which music currently inspires you?
The Australian Tash Sultana ; my daughter introduced her to me.

Which music do you always return to?
The Rolling Stones, Gramatics, Erykah Badu, Ella Fitzgerald, Fleetwood Mac, Mary J. Blige, Boz Scaggs, Aretha Franklin, Stevie Wonder, Lenny Kravitz, Al Green and of course David Bowie and Prince.

How do you listen to music?
On Spotify. But I still buy music as downloads to support the musicians.

Favorite book? Or author?
My favorite authors are John Updike, Jhumpa Lahiri, Milena Moser and Peter Stamm.

Favorite newspaper / magazine?
The New York Times and The New Yorker.

Favorite Instagram?
I mainly follow friends. And prefers those who do not show me every dish that they eat and every movement of their children.

For which branch of culture does your heart beat?
For the ballet. I have a subscription to Ballet Zurich.

Transport?
A first generation eBike and public transport.

Your last / next travel destination?
I have just returned from Japan.  Next is Los Angeles, where my son is studying.

Your classic drink?
The Manhattan

See the original article (in German) with accompanying photos here.