What might have been
is an abstraction
Remaining a perpetual
possibility
Only in a world of
speculation.
-- T.S. Eliot, “Burnt Norton”
In case you are still incomprehensibly and reprehensibly in
denial (I’m lookin’ at you, springbreakers on the Florida beaches, English
pub-goers, South African bus riders, Swedish skiers, Japanese cherry-blossom
peekers, Belarusian soccer fans, the covidiot in the White House): This is The Big One. Divine retribution on a mindboggling scale. The Great Recalibration.
The universe has seen that we humans have fucked things up
so irrevocably, it determined that an apocalyptic shake-up was necessary. At
fault are our profligate squandering of natural resources;
our hubris in artificially extending lives and overpopulating
the earth;
our thumbing of noses at the insidious effects of mass
tourism.
Inequalities – racial, ethnic, economic, gender, sexual – we
have enabled to develop and fester.
Our shortsighted shorting of public health infrastructures.
The unforgiving insistence on ever-higher gains in overheated,
overvalued markets.
The massively unfair distribution of worldwide wealth.
Our nonchalant, incessant consuming of so much more than we
need.
The greedy pursuit of own enrichment with no regard for the
common good.
Maybe even the breakneck frantic pace our lives had assumed,
allowing for too little introspection and time for what really matters.
We are being put in our place, forced to retreat to our domestic
lairs, defenseless against a rabid Darwinian realignment of the natural order
of things. The invisible pathogen raging among us has
managed to do what all the strikes, marches, rallies, riots, political debates, climate conferences, natural
disasters and other visible disruptions could not do.
The planes are in the hangars, the cruise ships in their
berths; factories and slaughterhouses are shuttered; supply chains are severed, social lives are locked down; incompetent and
undeserving leaders are being shown up as the buffoons that they are; the
economy is in a tailspin; a global reckoning is taking place.
The cosmos has got our attention now, eh?
We find ourselves “at the still point of the turning world”
(Eliot again), compelled to stop / slow down and turn inward and contemplate
and question and be and reassess and evaluate the opportunities to make the
best of this defining moment. We have
time now to cultivate a new awareness.
To breathe deeply. To determine
what will be different on the other side of this upheaval -- because back to
business as usual is not, should not be an option.
I manage ok during the day, keeping my hands busy, my body
moving and my mind distracted, but the nights are especially disquieting. Afraid of the torment of my subconscious, I
numb myself with Netflix and more often than not drift off in the blue light of
my laptop. In the nocturnal hours the
full weight of my unremitting fears bears down on me: worry about my
28-year-old doctor son and my 84-year-old asthmatic mother; concern about the
fate of my small business; general anxiety about the staggeringly calamitous effects
of this crisis.
My heart convulses hardest when I try to imagine what life
A.C. is going to be like for my children and their cohorts, the Millennials and
Gen Zers -- both names portending a momentous era, the end, a finality… and here
we are. How will they navigate their psychological
and emotional near future? What will
their professional prospects be after this economic Armageddon? Where will they find the wherewithal to claw
their way back from this historic shit show?
While the rampaging ravages of this virus are widely beyond
our control, it will be up to us to choose to make the most of its aftermath. The
shifting consciousness is palpable but can we make the necessary post-pandemic
pivot? Once we are out of lockdown, how
long will our newfound appreciation of our freedoms last?
How soon before we are thoughtlessly abusing our planet,
callously over-consuming, loudly complaining about traffic jams and tedious
classes and annoying office colleagues?
Will we continue to show respect for our new heroes?
Will we still engage in acts of solidarity?
Will we care more for each other or revert to egocentric
actions?
Will we do our best to make good, thoughtful choices?
I really want to believe in humankind’s ability to learn and
grow from life’s most daunting challenges, but recognize that negative and
narcissistic behavior can be frighteningly deep-rooted. I truly hope that our resilience – of which
I am utterly convinced – leads us to lives of more altruism but also fear that
addiction to affluence may ultimately overrule any gentler, kinder
impulses.
We will eventually acquire immunity to this strain of
coronavirus, but I hope to god we will no longer be immune to the deplorable harm
we have wrought on our world.
While there will be a cataclysmic toll on life as we had
come to know it, I accept that this is a necessary culling for our collective
wellbeing. Though it may be next to
impossible right now to view the devastation around us as a gift, the COVID-19 catastrophe
could engender widespread and lasting recognition of our social responsibilities. And that would indubitably be a good thing.
For me personally, I had high hopes and expectations for
this year, the start of a new decade… its sinuous numerical symmetry enticing me
to ramp up my travel; give a push to big professional changes; embark on
individualistic indulgences. And while I
have sadly had to shelve these selfish plans, my belief in the phenomenal
potential of this watershed moment has been renewed on a universal scale: The shared karmic
experience of 2020 just may save us from ourselves.
The only wisdom we can
hope to acquire
Is the wisdom of
humility: humility is endless.
--T.S. Eliot, “East Coker”
